Jana- Day 3-4

What a day I had yesterday! It's always fun in 6th grade, but the day ended on a sad note, which is still something I can't stop thinking about. With the stress that this year has caused, I think often how I don't connect with these kids this year. I've always felt some connection and a sense of protection for them. This year is so different, I don't feel it, like I have in the past. However, there are rare times, when I just want to save them, help them, protect them from their world.
After my leaving work with a heavy heart for a particular student, I took 3 students home with me for the evening. This was a somewhat random group of students, all great kids with their own unique needs and situations. I let them choose what we would have for dinner (I cooked for them) and they chose quesadillas and chili. A bizarre combination, but I wanted to give them a cooked meal. I ate a little of each and was WAY under my calories for the day. We sat down for dinner (which NONE of them had ever done... eaten at the table with their family). I did this every single day growing up, I don't think we missed a night when we didn't eat as a family, a chance to share about our day and to share time together as a family. Thinking about how my students have missed out on this, makes me sad just thinking about it! I plan to have every one of my kids over for dinner, this may be our Friday night plans for the next few months.
As I talked to Sarah today about our situation at work, I realized that I needed to be reminded of how much our students have to deal with that kids their age don't typically deal with. I was reminded that when their behavior is out of whack and they can't focus, that there may be (and is) so much going on in their heads, their world that you can't blame them from being a little side tracked. But how do we prepare them for success with the stress they have to deal with day to day? One student I had over last night explained to me why his family (of 4 with one on the way) had to rent a bedroom in an apartment. He was able to tell me every single bill his family had to pay and when each was due. Still to this day, I don't know what my parents pay for their house, or their car, or their electric bill each month. Kids shouldn't know that, nor should they feel concerned that their parents won't be able to make the car payment!
I need to start fresh on Monday, with a better attitude and empathy for my students, who are so desperate for love and attention. I'm adding this to my lent commitment, to have more compassion and patience and to not forget why people like us work in Title 1 schools.
So, I'm way off topic with my eating and exercise, but this is just on my mind and I needed an outlet. I've done really good with my plan this week. I plan to weigh on Tuesday morning. I hope I see a good change. One thing I've realized, I'm not really ever hungry!! I eat a lot because I think I'm hungry, but I really just like food! I thought I was hungry when I left work yesterday, but I didn't eat for another 3 hours and I was fine. I completed Day 2 of Couch to 5K today, and I didn't feel like I was dying. At one point I was jogging and I thought, "I can do this, this isn't so bad at all!". Then towards the end I realized it's actually not that easy, but I can do it. I felt accomplished that I did it, and look forward to finishing the first week tomorrow.
I told Mike today that I just need something to work for. I had the wedding, which helped. Then that was over, and I just gave up and put on 25 lbs. Now, I'm doing well with lent. But, what happens after that? I know I can do it but I want to stick with it, without letting all my hard work be taken when the 40 days are over. This is where I need your support!